Why the fuck cannot I not ever find what I am looking on the web anymore? Google almost never returns anything useful, DuckDuckGo is just a worse version of Google and YouTube's search is utter dog shit.
I was just looking for tutorials on something on YouTube and all I found were irrelevant tutorials and click-bait garbage. I checked Google, same shit as YouTube but also irrelavant Reddit posts included, goodie! DuckDuckGo might as well not-exist, the results are the same or worse than Google. The only nice thing about DuckDuckGo is that I don't have to solve a fucking captcha everytime I want to search something with a VPN enabled and they have a Javascript free version.
God Damn, I am so sick of the web at this point. It feels like there are only a handful of websites and they all center around trying to sell me shit that I don't want or need. I really miss when people put shit on the internet for no other reason than that it was interesting to them. I just really hate the modern web and modern life actually. Can I just go back to 1998, please?
Well I got laid off recently and it is the first time in my life that I have ever been laid off. I didn't especially enjoy my job but it was really easy and good money so this sucks pretty bad. I really have no idea what I am going to do. I don't have much of a professional network and the few connections that I do have, have nothing availble right now. All of my fall back ideas for jobs, stuff I used to do, aren't there. The jobs just aren't available. I'm pretty fucked. I didn't get much in the way of severance so I will be relying on unemployment until that runs out. I'll most likely have to give up my apartment and move back in with my mom. This is probably it for my career and any hopes I may have had for a normal life.
Funny thing is, recently I had been really trying hard at work. I had been making more of an effort to do my job well and be more social. I was feeling pretty positive recently and of course this is how I am rewarded for putting in effort and being positive. It wasn't really my fault that I got laid off, the upper management at the company are just fucking idiots. I still learned my lesson though, life won't reward me for being positive and trying to better myself. There is no point in even trying in life, I should just give up and accept my destiny as a fucking loser.
The way I see this playing out is that I'll only be offered some shitty assembly or warehouse jobs. I don't see myself getting anything better. I don't have much experience in what I was doing previously, only like 3.5 years. That basically only qualifies me for the entry level jobs and all my experience was in a weird niche industry without a lot of carry over into other industries. Honestly, I'm fucked. In a few months, when I haven't found anything, I will give up may apartment and move back in with my mom. Then maybe I'll keep looking for similar jobs to what I was doing but more realistically, I should just find a shitty job that will actually hire me. At least at that point I will have money coming in so I can buy games or whatever I want again.
The good thing about the position that I am in is that my mom actually wants me to move back home. That is a better situation than other people might find themselves in so I can be thankful for that. On the other hand, I don't see myself moving back out of her house if I do go back. If I move back in, I am probably going to stay there for good. I know I could move back out eventually if I ever find a better job again but at this point in my life, why bother? What's the point? My only motivation to live on my own is to not look like a loser to women but women aren't interested in me anyway so screw it. I haven't been able to get a girlfriend in years and frankly don't see that changing anytime soon. I'm not good looking and even if I got in better shape, I would still be ugly. There's just no point anymore.
It is over for me. I just don't see any positive way forward and I really don't see me being successful in my professional life again. When I accepted my last job that just laid me off, I actually had a similar job offer but for less money, I really should have taken that job. I'd probably still be employed. Oh well, I guess this is how it was always going to end up. I would lose my job one way or another and be back living with my mom. It's fucking depressing but that's life I guess. Fuck it.